Remembering Hope

Ellis is feeling better from her recent virus and ear infection, and I am about three days behind her in the recovery process. Even though neither of us is at our best right now, I have to take just a minute to mark this day, which makes my stomach drop every time I see it on my calendar.

Two years ago today Ellis, at only six days old, underwent an 11 hour life saving surgery to remove the mass of malformed lymphatic tissue on her neck, which compromised her airway among other things. I still remember this as the best and worst day of my life. Her surgeons were some of the best in the world, but we know God was the one really in charge that day. We are so thankful.
I was in such a state that day that I don't remember a whole lot of that 11 hours or the days following. I was still so sick myself after my own surgery that I had to go lay down in a hospital room for part of it just to keep my strength. I remember our family being there for help and support. I remember our wonderful pastor and his family coming to sit and pray with us. I remember being wheeled to the cafeteria by Greg and us trying to force ourselves to eat something, which really just dissolved into me crying into my napkins and looking up to see one of Ellis's other doctors who offered some encouragement. Mostly I remember praying all day for hope, which we were blessed with as each update from the operating room came over the phone. And when her surgeons came out to speak to us late that night, openly in the waiting room because we were the only ones still there, I remember trying to picture Ellis growing up, after the hospital, after the surgeries, after the therapies, and not being able to make the picture come together in my head. Something happy seemed so far out of reach. But in the two years since then God has given us so much more than we could ask for. We still aren't quite at the end of these struggles yet, but she has come so far in these two years that we are still filled with hope daily. I wish that if anything, this blog which was started for our far away friends and family but has grown to quite a large and faithful audience, will give hope to someone else who needs it.

Here's a little clip of just a normal day with Ellis, which is more wonderful than anything I could picture two years ago.